last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
