We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
What a dumb baby whore.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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