I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
