Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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