Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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