i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
