fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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