Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize