Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
There r osticjed everywhere
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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