Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize