I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
