Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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