Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
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As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
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Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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