I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
