I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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