Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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