covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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