I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
