Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
