What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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