Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
