I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
