Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
