Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
