Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
