Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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