my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I need to sanitize my soul.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're so committed to being not committed
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
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