i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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