U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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