I'm drive I can fine osifer
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
