Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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