the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
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A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
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Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
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