I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
