I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
