I hate your face
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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