Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
