Christians are straight up FREAKS
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
two words: eviction party
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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