I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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