My first STD was from a foam party
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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