I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
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