I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
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