Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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