wat bout pragnant strippers??
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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