My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Your shirt... Was in my pants
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
