So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
