I must be too annoying 4 u.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
You made out with two different species that night
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
