Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize