CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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