And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
