there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blood and glitter go together right?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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