boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize