alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
