why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
