I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
