Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Randomize