i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
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I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
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Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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