Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Randomize