And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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