dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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