Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
